The past two weeks have been rather mundane. To be frank, it has been a struggle. I am not unhappy or restless or bored. I am just feeling "blah". There is plenty going on to keep me occupied, but I want to sit around and watch TV all day. I want to be self-absorbed on my phone, rather than clean the house or read a book, or anything at all productive. Maybe it is hormonal, or depression, or exhaustion from working third shift. Maybe it is just laziness. I don't know. But it has been a struggle, and I want to snap out of it. I need to snap out of it.
I am currently on day 3 of a 10-day stretch off of work. This is my normal schedule, a 10-day break I get every 6 weeks. Sounds pretty amazing, right? A mini vacation built right into my work schedule. It is nice! But I find myself most unproductive during these 10 days. I procrastinate and "veg" all day because I have plenty of time to spend doing whatever I want to do. Then before I know it, I am on day 8 or 9, and I have to work hard to get everything done before going back to work.
The beginning of Corona-break was filled with resolve to be more disciplined in my daily life. I was writing letters to people as I thought of them, journaling back and forth with my kids daily, keeping them on track with school work, enlisting their help in house work, and reading my Bible and books diligently.
Time moved on, and now I find myself at the end of week 7 of social distancing. My resolve has dwindled. I wrote a total of 4 letters this month. I wanted to write one daily. The kids' journals sit in a stack, where they have sat untouched for about 3 weeks. House work is hit-or-miss. I still read my Bible, but book reading is no longer a priority. Thankfully, the school sent packets of work for the kids to do, so they are still keeping up with that!
So I need to reset.
Here are the positives that have happened since the last time I blogged.
Bible study has been meeting via Facebook video chat, every other Monday. This group of ladies is so encouraging, so honest, so refreshing to chat with each time we meet. I love hearing their perspectives and encouragement. It is a joy to study the Bible with them and learn together.
I was able to talk with friends from college this weekend. I don't remember the last time I saw them all together. It has been far too long. I have not been good at keeping in contact. But it was so encouraging to see their faces and talk about life. Seeing them made me miss them more, and I hope we are able to do that again soon.
I have seen the kids enjoying each other so much since they have been home. Sure, they fight. But I see the love they have for each other and the way they play together. It is fun to watch them be creative and find ways to include everyone in their play.
I have a great group of co-workers, and I think we are keeping each other sane right now. We have a lot of fun together when we work, we talk about our lives and how COVID is affecting us right now, we tease each other and laugh at stupid things that happen. We eat good food together. They scare me and laugh at how easy it is to do.
A family from our church dropped a care package off at our house on Sunday. The kids and I were on a walk at the time, and they drove down where we were to say hi from their van. I cannot tell you how encouraging it was just to see their faces! I miss that family. I miss my church family!
Today I reset. I have laundry going, I finished some paperwork that was waiting to be completed, this blog post has been written, dishes are next on my list, letters will be responded to, and my kitchen counter WILL be clean again by the end of the day.
How are you all doing?
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